Evil Is The Most Fun A Guy Can Have Without Taking His Clothes Off
by Muchadoaboutnada
Summary: Hatred is a really strange and funny thing. One day you loathe this person with your whole being and the next...well, you still loathe them, but now you want to see them naked, too.
1. Intro

When you hate someone, truly hate them, you have to care about them a little as well. It comes with the territory.

Take Kairi, for example. She hated that prick, Axel. After everything he'd done (tried to do, anyways) to her best friends and the love of her life? Not to mention the things he'd done to her personally. She'd earned the right.

And the feeling was majorly mutual. Axel didn't know her well, not being one to deal personally with damsels in distress, but he'd seen enough to decide that she was spoiled, weak, and self-centered. Sora and Riku always seemed to be trying to get her out of messes, on top of their own problems.

Axel's a murderous psychopath, but he knows a bad friend when he sees one.

So when his assignment came in to kidnap her (again) to use against Sora (again), he was less than ecstatic. Spending his days taking care of a whiny little princess was not an ideal situation.

But, sacrifice for the greater good, and all that. He'd live.

She, on the other hand...


	2. Chapter 1

The call came on one of Axel's off duty days. That stupid fucking voice . . . "Number Eight, I need you to report to headquarters immediately."

Axel didn't even bother responding, just hung up and rubbed his temples. He'd been having such a wonderful day, perches high above Hollow Bastion. He supposed all good things had to end sometime.

As he absentmindedly created the portal back to headquarters, he wondered why Number One needed to see him. _Quick_, he thought_, what have you fucked up in the past week?_

Nothing occurred to him, nothing especially important, anyway, so he shrugged and stepped into the portal.

Once he'd arrived at headquarters, he made a beeline for Number One's quarters. The sooner he got this over with, the better the possibility that he could still salvage a little time for himself. He passed a group of...colleagues in the hallway. Larxene bared her teeth in a mocking smile and Marluxia hid his chuckles behind a gloved hand. Saix wouldn't meet his eyes, but that was nothing new.

He entered the office of his superior without bothering to knock. He smirked when Xemnas turned to glare at him from his place at the window. Axel took a seat in the stark white chair, kicked his boots up on the desk, and set himself to burning sooty patterns in the whiteness of the wood as he waited.

Xemnas shuffled some papers around, moved a few pens from one area of the desk to another, opened drawer after drawer looking for nothing. Anything to try to make Axel the least bit uncomfortable. After a few moments of this, he spoke.

"Eight, you've got a mission."

Axel snorted. "Yeah, no shit, I knew that. A little elaboration on what, exactly, it is, however, would be nice."

Xemnas narrowed his eyes. "Pack a bag, or don't. Your comfort is of not matter to me. You are to pick up the human girl, Kairi. Do not bring her here."

Axel's jaw dropped. "Her? _Again?!_"

Xemnas nodded and then gestured to the door. "I expect you to have her in hand and report back to me by evening." he said with a smug note in his voice.

Axel kicked his feet off the desk and stormed out of the room, singeing the wood around the door handle as he went. He couldn't believe it. He'd nearly been killed the last time he was put in charge of babysitting that whiny little bitch, and the plan didn't even work. He'd gotten extremely lucky to even be around anymore.

Now, the smart thing to do would be to strategize a little, because whining wouldn't do any good. Axel knew Xemnas well enough to know that.

But no, he'd figure out where to take her and what to do with her later, because now, he had to make her pay for indirectly ruining his day.

* * *

><p>Bruh. I don't even wanna hear any shit about not updating or posting tiny wimpy ass chapters. I've been posting these from my phone because computer drama and do you even know how impossible it is to format a document from your phone? I bet you don't. It sucks.<p>

Anyway though, so finals are over and my boy person thing (even though he's out with his fwb tonight and I could scream I'm so frustrated because I can't call him out ah love is great) is away so maaaaaybe I'll update more frequently. I'd like to do more work on this story, because it's kind of a remake of one I wrote on another account a loooong time ago, but I'm also focusing on moving my other story forward (it's called What Happens After Forever and i'd link it but idk how and also just click on my name and read it if you feel me!) so I can't make promises.

I do love writing but sometimes other things are more important and I know you guys know that and are so supportive it hurts sometimes

big big hearts and lots of love

nada


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